Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again
by Carlykinz
Summary: Jeff and Dixie have an 11 year old daughter Maddie. Jeff and Dixie are divorced and are now living seperate lives. Dixie has been shut out the last 4 years of Maddie's life and will do anything to get Maddie back. will Jeff and Dixie get back together or has their love pastured?. Maddie my OC, Jeff and Dixie. Please R&R!
1. Maddie's Birthday

This is yet another Jeff and Dixie fan fiction and I hope you will like it. I will update my other stories at the weekend sometime possibly. This story is sort of like my Linda fan fiction for those who have read that will know what I mean.

Ok in this story Jeff and Dixie were married and they have an 11-year-old daughter Maddie Collier and well they separated and so Maddie lives with Jeff at the moment. Jeff does not work at Holby because when he and Dixie separated he chose to transfer to another branch. Well I hope that explains it a bit but of course Jeff and Dixie belong together but will they get back together?.

* * *

Dixie woke up to the sound of her alarm clock blaring with all its might so, she slammed her hand down on top of the clock to stop the noise that was going through her and driving her insane.

Dixie stretched, yawned, and dragged herself out of the bed, as today was a special day for her only her family knew what today meant to her. Dixie smiled to herself as she made her bed and got ready for work. Once she had her dose of coffee, she headed to work with a huge smile on her face and nothing was going to spoil this special day.

"Some one's happy this morning," Norman said as Dixie walked into the entrance of the Ambulance bay. Dixie went straight to her locker, got changed into her Green uniform, and placed her clothes into her locker before she slammed her locker shut and headed straight to her office and sat down into her seat and began to sort out of the mountain of paper work that had accumulated over night.

Maddie Collier woke up to hear the sound of singing so she got up out of bed and opened her door to see in the doorway her dad singing happy birthday to her at the top of his lungs as it was Maddie's actual birthday which meant she was now officially 11 years old.

"Happy birthday sweet heart" her dad said before embracing her into a bone-crushing hug.

"Thanks Dad but your sort of crushing me" her father let go of her seeing the pain on her face.

"Thanks dad but, I better get changed for school," Maddie said to her father with a bright smile on her face feeling bad for not being able to spend more time with her father on her birthday.

"Alright Maddie see you down stairs where all your presents are" her father said turning away and going back down stairs to make himself breakfast.

Maddie made her bed and decided to shower in her on suite bathroom. Maddie let the warm water wash over her as she thought of how lucky she was to have a great father to look after her.

Once she had showered, she changed into school uniform before she brushed her long chocolate-brown locks and grabbed half her hair and clipped half of it up and left the other half down. Maddie looked into the mirror at her appearance only to frown at herself.

"God I look like "her" right now "Maddie often called her mother by her first name or just used the word "her" to describe her when people asked about her. Maddie never liked talking about her mother but she often found herself thinking about her. Maddie never needed much reminding what her mother looked like because she had her blue/green expressive eyes and slight pale complexion so looking in the mirror she would be reminded of her mother but other times she could see her father in herself and tried to make herself believe that she looked nothing like "her".

Maddie sighed before she left her room and descended the stairs thinking about her mother, wondering if she cared, it was her birthday? On the other hand, she wondered if "she" knew how old she was going to be or if she has sent a card or even wanted to wish her a happy birthday. However, Maddie knew she would not get anything but she secretly liked to hope but she never told her father.

"There you are , come and open your presents" Jeff said as seeing her at the bottom of the stairs in a day-dream so he grabbed hold of Maddie's hand and dragged her into the kitchen to see the table covered in birthday gifts so she started to slowly open them one by one. Maddie noticed there was not anything from "her" so she put on a bright and happy face and thanked her father for the lovely gifts.

"Thank you Dad, for the lovely gifts but, I better get going to school" Maddie gave a weak smile grabbing a cereal bar and taking a bit.

"Yeah suppose you should," Jeff said placing his cereal bowl in the dishwasher. Maddie grabbed her bag, gave her father a kiss on the cheek, said goodbye, and headed to school but Maddie was called to stop by Jeff.

"Remember your having a party after school so, don't be late home but have a good day sweet pea"

"Thanks Dad" Maddie said brightly.

School was not very eventful today but Maddie had a good time messing about with friends and having lunch gossiping about buys and clothes. Last lesson was Maddie's favourite, which was English, which made the time go quicker because as soon as she entered the classroom it was home time.

Back at the ED Dixie's shift went rather quickly for her, as it was rather busy and made time fly by. Dixie had several shouts with everything today from broken bones to unusual objects inserted in children's ears and noses but nothing was ruining today for her not even Lego star wars objects up children's noses could ruin her day.

"Dix, fancy a drink after work today?" Zoe asked as she approached Dixie as she put out a cigarette"Oh I can't it's my ... Maddie's birthday" Dixie said smiling and Zoe smiled at her friend knowing how excited she was to see Maddie on a special day as today.

"Say a happy birthday to her for me, it's been so long since I last saw her" Zoe said walking back into the ED. Dixie walked back to her office and closed the door sighing a huge sigh of relief. She knew it was silly getting excited when Maddie would not be quite as excited to see her.

"Happy Birthday baby" Dixie whispered as she picked up one of her pictures of Maddie but she felt the tears slips down her face as she looked at the photo of her daughter who was now 11 today. Dixie thought about what to get Maddie over the last few days and he just had no Idea what to get her so, she got her the same thing her father gave her at Maddie's age hoping that would be the excited for Maddie as it was for her all those years ago.

Maddie walked home from school with her best friend Holly only to only walk into a different home, which was now covered with party decorations and banners with 11 today on them.

"Wow" was all Maddie could say as she walked into the house.

"Your Dad has gone all out"Holly said looking round the house in awe as Maddie hugged her father.

"How was school girls?" Jeff asked as he saw the girls mesmerised by the decorations.

"It was alright," they said in unison.

An hour went by, the party was in full swing, and everyone was having a good time with friends and close family.

After an 8-hour shift, it was time for Dixie to go and try to get into her daughters party but she knew she was the hated one of the family but she could try.

Dixie pulled up outside her old home to see 11 today balloons and banner on the front door. Dixie took a few minutes to look in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable. Dixie she saw that she looked a bit tired with bags under eyes so she applied some foundation and some lip gloss before she got out of the car but never bothered to lock it as she knew she wouldn't be able to stay long. She rang the bell and waited nervously for someone to open the door and a few moments later the door opened to reveal Jeff who looked rather handsome.

"What do you want Dix?" Jeff said bluntly.

"Hi..., I would like to could come to Maddie's birthday ... Please," Dixie, said weakly looking at Jeff.

"I'm sorry Dix, we would have invited you if Maddie wanted you here," Jeff said shifting uncomfortably

"Who is it?" Dixie heard Maddie say behind the door.

"It's your mother" Jeff opened the door wide so Maddie could see for herself who it was.

"Want me to stay princess?" Jeff asked Maddie who shook her head. Jeff took one last look at Dixie before he walked off leaving Maddie and Dixie alone.

"Dad said you couldn't come and well I sort of thought you wouldn't" Maddie said which upset Dixie.

"What dad meant was I couldn't stay long that's all"

Dixie and Maddie stood in silence waiting for someone to break the silence.

"Dad, said you couldn't come in didn't he" Dixie nodded.

"You're Father and I only want the best for you that's all," Dixie said smiling at her daughter who looked so grown up.

"I brought you a present" Dixie handed the small box to Maddie who just looked at it before she opened it.

Maddie opened the small box "What is it?" Maddie frowned in confusion to why Dixie gave her a key.

"Do you remember a picture of me and granddad out by his shed" Maddie nodded, "well when I was about your age he gave me that key as sanctuary, a place I could escape to when I needed to"

Dixie looked at her daughter who was looking at her with her big blue/green eyes, which resemble her own with a slight confused look on her face.

"It's the key to my apartment, where you will always be welcome and a sanctuary a place where can go if you ever need a break," Dixie said shyly and Maddie gave a small smile before she looked behind her.

"I better get back, thanks errrr... for the gift," Maddie said backing further into the house.

"Well I'll let you get back to your party, Happy birthday sweetheart and enjoy your day" Dixie smiled and turned away happy that she shared a few minutes with Maddie.

Dixie arrived home to a lonely apartment to see she had nothing in the fridge so she went out food shopping.

Once she had gotten what she needed she arrived home and hour later and headed straight to the kitchen to put the shopping away only to see a slice of birthday cake with a message written on a paper napkin in Maddie's neat handwriting.

Happy "my" Birthday

Maddie xx

Dixie smiled and tucked into the cake knowing Maddie made the choice herself to come to her apartment and leave her a piece of birthday cake. Which must mean she didn't hater her after all.

* * *

Well I hope you liked that, I used bits from another show, which I changed to fit this story. If no one likes this Idea then I shall delete the story.

Please review as Reviews = a happy Carly lol.


	2. pushy mum

A couple of days later at work Dixie glanced at Maddie's photo and smiled at it for a few moments before she decided to contact Maddie after leaving that cake so she called Maddie's mobile only to hear Jeff's voice instead of Maddie's at the end of the phone.

"Jeff, what are you doing with Maddie's phone?" Dixie asked confused why he had her daughter's phone.

"What are you doing calling her mobile, we have talked about this Dix"

"Well, you ignore my calls to the house"

"You know the phone works both ways Dix, she could call you if she wanted" Jeff said coldly

"Well I was wondering if I could see Maddie and spend time with her as I am her mother"

"We'll see" Jeff hung up

"Wait, at least let me talk to her" Dixie said to the dead line on the phone. Dixie felt the warm tears slip down her cheeks.

Dixie wiped her eyes and went back to work in a bad mood snapping at everyone who dared open their mouth to speak to her.

Norman grabbed Dixie and took her into the staffroom. "Right you are going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you as you have been snapping at everyone and well we have had enough.

"I can't tell you Norman"

"Oh yes you can and you will Dixie right now" Norman demanded.

"Fine" Dixie snapped

"11 years ago me and Jeff were married and well, to cut a long story short we divorced and well, our daughter Maddie lives with Jeff because apparently a mother who works 18 hours a day is an absentee mother and a father who works the same hours is a good provider "Dixie looked at Norman with a frown on her face.

"all I am allowed to do is pay for dance lessons and things she needs and when I try to see her or talk to her Jeff turns it round saying I'm trying to buy her affection" Dixie could feel the tears slip down her cheeks.

"Oh Dixie, I'm sorry" Norman said placing a hand on her shoulder as comforting gesture.

"I know I'm sorry I never told you but I wanted to keep my personal life private and the easiest thing was to pretend I never had Maddie but I think about her everyday"

"It's alright and don't be so silly apologising for no reason"

"Thank you Norman, you a sweet man and once again I'm sorry for not telling you this part of my life" Dixie smiled at Norman who nodded his response.

"It's alright, you will get Maddie back but, I am sorry to say it will take time but you will get there" Dixie nodded.

Dixie was thankful for Norman who saw the sadness and was willing to help her as much as he could and this made Dixie wish she had told Norman sooner rather than later.

Once Dixie's shift had ended she head down the pub

With Zoe and the group to have, a much-needed good time and a good laugh.

Jeff never told Maddie that Dixie had phoned but he did regret snapping at Dixie but he was doing what he thought was for the best for Maddie and that was pushing Dixie away because if she got too close to Maddie she would only crush her hopes and dreams.

A few days later

Dixie dialled Maddie's mobile and waited for her to answer.

"Hello"

"Maddie, Hi I was hoping to get you before school"

"What do you want mum? I'm going to be late for school"

"I've been thinking how about we have lunch after school"

"I can't today I have dance class after school"

"Oh well how about Friday? We can go to the place round the corner from school" the line went silent as Jeff was outside the house waiting and he honked the car horn.

"Maddie?"

Norman walked in to the break room just as Dixie was on the phone to Maddie.

"Yeah ok, but I have to go bye" Maddie hung up and rushed to get to school on time.

Norman waited for Dixie to finish the call before he said anything.

"How did that sound?" Dixie asked excitedly

"Ok, I don't mean to sound harsh but just back off a bit"

"Yeah but you said to do what I can to get her back"

"Yeah but just take it slowly Dixie," Dixie thought about what Norman just said but she did not think she was being pushy

Later on that day, Zoe asked Dixie to lunch to their favourite café, which was in town so they took Zoe's car, and parked down the high street and began walking down the street when Dixie suddenly walked off.

"Dixie? Where are you going?" Zoe called after but it was no use she was already far ahead so Zoe tried to catch up wearing her killer heels. Once Zoe caught up with Dixie she realised that it was a dance school and Dixie was standing outside looking in the window to see Maddie standing there in her dance wear talking to a cute guy who was making her blush and clearly making her laugh and obviously liked Maddie.

"I'm going in"

"Dixie..." Zoe never got to finish her sentence because Dixie was already inside and already walking over to Maddie.

"Maddie, Hi"

"Mum, what are you doing here? I'm not supposed to meet you until tomorrow" Maddie folded her arms in front of her as she watched the cute boy slowly walk away from her.

"I just wanted, I just thought"

"No, you didn't think at all you never do" Maddie stormed off through some double doors. Zoe watched, as Dixie looked defeated and walked back to Zoe with her head down.

"Norman told you to back off a bit Dix and now look what's happened" Zoe and Dixie went to lunch but, Dixie was just not herself later that little incident with Maddie earlier and Zoe could see her best friend was hurt.

"I'm sorry Zoe but, I'm going I don't feel so well" Zoe nodded as she watched Dixie leave feeling hurt and her heart crushed.

Once Dixie arrived home, she just lay on the sofa and wrapped her fleece blanket round her and watched TV only to glance occasionally at the photo of Maddie and Dixie when Maddie was around about the tender age of four and they were both smiling and Maddie actually had her arms round Dixie. Looking at the picture, she began to feel herself tear up.

Dixie, yawned and feeling rather tired she weakly got up, changed, had an early night, and looked forward to lunch with Maddie tomorrow.

Maddie went to bed that night confused why her mother was trying so hard when after all these years she never really bothered before but, Maddie quite liked the Idea of her mother actually caring about her and wanting her back but, she wished she would just back off a bit. Maddie never told her father about the encounter today at dance and she never was going to, knowing her father he would go mad once he knew what Dixie was trying to do.


	3. lunch with mum good or bad?

The next day Dixie got up extra early to make up for yesterday and headed to work an hour early. Once Dixie entered the ambulance bay and walked to her office smiling at work colleagues as she passed by. Dixie walked into her office and was met with a mountain of paper work sitting at her desk. Dixie sighed, dumped her bag on the floor under her desk, sat down, and began to start her paper work. Dixie was swamped with paper work she, was still sitting at her desk at 12am

There was a knock at the door "Come in "Dixie called out. Norman opened the door, walked into Dixie's office, and closed the door behind him.

"Dixie, were not expecting you until 9" Norman looked at his watch to see it was just after 8am.

"I came in an hour early just too well make up for yesterday really and once again I am sorry for yesterday" Dixie felt like she was back in school apologising to the headmistress but she was the boss after all but it felt weird apologising to Norman of all people.

"Oh don't even worry about it, you are better today?"

"Oh yeah much better thank you"

"Good well that's all that matters, I'm glad you came in early because we are a person short today because Hannah called in sick. Well I better let you get back to work" Norman smiled at Dixie, walked out of the office, closed the door behind him quietly, and went straight to work.

Dixie's radio buzzed with life when a call came in so, she stopped the paper work and spoke to dispatch and told them that she will be there in a few minutes. Dixie walked into the staffroom to see Norman holding his radio close to his ear listening to the call.

"Ready to go Norman?" Dixie asked clipping her radio back on her belt.

"Yep let's go Dixie" Norman and Dixie walked to the ambulance where Norman jumped into the front seat and started the engine and Dixie climbed into the passenger seat and placed her seat belt round her.

"So, any news about Maddie?" Norman asked looking right and looking left leaving the ambulance bay.

"I am taking her out to lunch today actually," Dixie, said brightly looking out the window quickly glancing at Norman before she went back to look out the window.

"Like I told you Dixie, just don't rush it and it will take time ok?" Norman asked

"I know and I will but it's the first time I will be having Maddie since well you know" Dixie said with a smile on her face.

"but just don't force it on her all at once she's still a kid remember and it's a lot for her deal with, so just another reminder don't push it" Norman said

When half 1 came around Dixie could feel her stomach rumbling as the last thing she remembered eating this morning was breakfast and that was hours ago.

Dixie took a much-needed break, headed to the cafeteria, and grabbed a light brunch, which consisted of a fruit salad a Twix and a small coffee. Dixie purchased her brunch, took a seat at an empty table, and began nibbling on her brunch. This quiet time helped Dixie to think of things to ask Maddie only not wanting to sit in an uncomfortable silence Dixie was in a day-dream when she next glanced at her watch it was more than time for her to get back to work but she didn't worry knowing Norman wouldn't mind her being a few minutes late back unless a call came in. Dixie made her way back to the ambulance station feeling better after eating something. Half three came round quickly for Dixie as she finished with her last patient before she headed to her locker to change out of her green outfit. Dixie looked at herself in the mirror and applied a little lip-gloss and a small amount of foundation under eyes to hide her tired eyes.

"You look fine now go or you'll be late" Zoe saw Dixie walk past checking herself out in a car reflection window outside the ED.

"Thank you, can't talk got to go see you later at the pub?" Zoe nodded and waved her good friend goodbye.

"Good luck" Zoe called out and Dixie waved at Zoe who lit up a cigarette and started taking a deep puff.

Dixie was lucky to get a space outside the café so she locked the car, rushed in and at a table, and ordered herself a much-needed coffee as she waited for Grace. A few minutes later Maddie walked into the café and walked calmly over to Dixie who smiled at her daughter and looked her over seeing how beautiful and how older she looked now wearing her school uniform.

"Hi" Dixie said brightly

Hi" Maddie said back nervously placing her bag on the floor as she sat down opposite Dixie.

"So what do you fancy to eat? "Maddie shrugged and Dixie was not sure what to say next so she grabbed the menu and began to look at the options available. Maddie picked up the menu and looked at the delicious options.

"So how was school?" Dixie asked nervously as she glanced at Maddie and back at the menu.

"Schools, school. Is that all you came here for is to ask me about school?" Maddie frowned.

"No, of course not, so have you chosen what you want?" Dixie asked and Maddie nodded.

Once they placed their orders, they sat in silence until Dixie broke the silence.

"So, who was that boy I saw you talking to yesterday? And what's his name?"

"I don't know" Maddie shrugged again.

"Can't we talk about something else please?" Maddie pleaded. Their food arrived as they ate quietly for a few minutes.

"Why are you asking all these questions anyway?" Maddie asked before sipped her drink.

"There's so much I want to know" Dixie shrugged this time

"Why? You never cared before" Maddie said looking rather confused.

"That's not true" Dixie shook her head.

"You haven't asked me once how I feel." Maddie said looking down at her food that she was now playing with.

"Alright how do you feel?" Dixie asked

"Like I can't breathe, so just back off ok?" Dixie looked at Maddie who would look her in the eye.

" Look I'm not ready for this so, I'm just going to go thanks for lunch" Maddie got up out of her seat grabbed her bag and left the café leaving a stunned Dixie still sitting in the café.

Dixie sighed as she felt hurt and upset that she had hurt Maddie and that Maddie thought she was pushing her and putting too much pressure on her when all Dixie wanted to do was to get to know her daughter again who she had lost to divorce.

* * *

Hi readers I am a bit let down as I haven't gotten many reviews for this story so this story might go if I don't get many more. where is everyone on here?. pretty please review. thank you :-).


	4. Dixie and Maddie car pool saturday

Dixie paid the bill at the café and could not wait to leave and go home and cry her eyes out but she promised Zoe a drink so she headed back to Holby but only to step in the pub to see Zoe, Tom, Sam , Noël, Big Mac,Louise,Robyn and Jamie sitting there quietly talking until they saw Dixie approach them.

"Hi guy's anyone needing a top up" they all shook their heads.

"Ok, just grabbing a drink" Zoe took this opportunity to ask Dixie how it went with Maddie.

"Hey how did it go?" Zoe whispered as they walked to the bar.

"Well, Maddie thinks I smoother her" Zoe nodded.

"Well just back off ok"

"Yeah but I am her mother, who's going to tell her about boy's, about life? When did I give up that right?" Dixie could feel the tears wanting to slip down her cheeks but she held them back.

"Look she will come round just give her time ok?" Zoe placed her arm round her friend.

Dixie put the hurt from Maddie behind for the night and had a good time with her friends as they shared stories but Dixie sat there listening to their past mistakes and regrets. Dixie sat quietly as she listened to their stories.

"You're quiet tonight Dixie, anything you regret or made any mistakes you want to take back?" Sam asked as she grabbed her beer and took a sip waiting Dixie's response.

"No, not really" Dixie was lying through her teeth hoping Sam would just leave it at that and lucky enough Sam left Dixie alone seeing she wasn't herself.

An hour later Dixie called it a night and left the group as they did shots and drinking games and cheering when they won. Zoe winked at Dixie before she left and Dixie knew that Zoe cared about her and she was lucky to have her as her best friend. Once Dixie arrived home, she showered letting the water wash over her as she thought about today's events with Maddie which broke her heart seeing Maddie walk away rather than spent any time with her. Maybe Maddie would be better without her in her life, should Dixie just walk away and let Maddie be without her mother because she clearly did not want or need her in her life. Dixie thought about it but she couldn't walk away from her daughter who she loved more than anything in the world not matter who much Maddie tried to push her away Dixie was going now where.

Once Dixie was dried and changed into her pj's and gotten something to eat, she sat down on the sofa and watched a bit of television but her mind was elsewhere. Dixie grabbed her phone and dialled her old house number that she shared with Jeff and of course Maddie and Dixie was surprised she remembered it. Dixie waited for someone to answer but it went to voice mail so she left a message.

"Maddie, I'm sorry for today and well everything, I just wanted to say that I heard you today and well I am going to back off. I know I am not good at this but I so want to be... I so want to be..., well I'll wait to hear from you bye" Little did Dixie know Maddie was sitting at the bottom of the stairs as she listened to Dixie leave that Message and she smiled knowing Dixie was doing what she wanted and that must mean she cared about Maddie.

Dixie put the phone down and sat there with a smile on her face hoping that Maddie would want to contact her when she was ready and that Dixie was happy to be there for her when she needed it. Dixie's mind was at rest now, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her, she was excited to wait and hear from Maddie at anytime, and this sent her to a deep slumber that she desperately needed.

A few days later on Saturday Dixie's day off she was having a nice lay in and was sound asleep when she heard her home phone ring so she jumped up out of bed stubbing her toe on the door frame cursing as she rushed into the lounge to answer the phone.

"Hello" Dixie said sounding still half asleep.

"Dix, I have well actually Maddie has a favour to ask, could you possibly pick her and her 2 friends up from dance class today? There was no answer until Dixie thought about it.

"Why can't you pick her up Jeff?" Dixie was not sure why he asked Dixie to do it when he was quite capable of doing it.

"If you don't want to be part of Maddie's Life then fine Dix"

"No of course I do"

"Well then what is the problem? You are providing transport for your child and her friends which is a parents job"

"Nothing, I know and what time do I need to be there?"

"Be there about 11, I need you to look after them and drop Maddie's friends home and possibly could you have Maddie over night, it's just I have to go on a training course and could be gone all day" Jeff said dully

"Ok but, is Maddie ok with this. I mean me looking after her?" Dixie had a worried look on her face.

"She'll understand and anyway you wanted to spend time with now here's your chance"

"Ok, yes that's fine, bye Jeff" Jeff hung up leaving a nervous Dixie rushing about the apartment tidying up everything until it looked spick and span throughout the apartment. Dixie looked in the fridge to see that she had a mouldy covered orange, a small amount of cheese and out of date milk.

"god I better go shopping" Dixie said to herself as she shut the door to the fridge and began to get ready as it wasn't long until she would pick Maddie up from dance.

Dixie left the house and jumped in the car because she was running behind. Once she arrived outside the dance school, she saw Maddie and her friends sitting on the steps waiting for her. Dixie approached the girls and they got up off the step and made their way over to Dixie dumping their bags in front of Dixie for her to pick up.

"Hi, I'm Maddie's mum"

"your late" Maddie said bluntly as she chucked her bag on the floor and got in the front of the car and her friends followed behind and got into the back of the car leaving Dixie to pick up their dance bags and put them in the boot.

"Ok" Dixie said to herself bending down and picking up all the bags.

"Maddie, you shouldn't be so hard on your mum" Katie Maddie's friend said as they sat in the car waiting.

Dixie got in to the car, the girls told her the address of their houses, and then they headed off to drop the girl's home. The ride in the car was quiet until Linda spoke "how was dance girls?" Dixie looked at Maddie and then in her rear view mirror at her friends who answered straight away.

"It was so much fun" Maddie just looked out the window rather than look at "her".

"What do you do?" Jade asked the tall girl with long blonde hair with olive skin.

"I'm a paramedic at Holby"

"Wow, that's such an amazing job" Maddie rolled her eyes in annoyance.

They dropped Katie off and then a few blocks away they dropped Jade off and so it left Maddie and Dixie.

"We have to go food shopping before we head home ok?" Maddie nodded and continued to look out the window.

"My friends actually think you're cool," Maddie said randomly out of no where.

"They do, really?" Dixie was surprised that Maddie had finally spoken to her.

"Yeah they do which is kind of weird"

"Yeah" Dixie and Maddie giggled as they shared a smile.

They pulled up outside Asda, grabbed a basket, and entered the store. Dixie walked down the aisles with Maddie walking beside her.

"Can get some of these Dixie?" Dixie hated it when Maddie called her Dixie instead of mum but she knew she would say mum when Maddie was ready.

"Yeah of course you can, oh do you like these?" Dixie asked holding up some double chip cookies

"Oh I love them they are my favourite, can we get some?"

"These are my favourites too, yeah chuck them in" Maddie gave a genuine smile for first time in a long time.

"I want to say thank you for picking me and my friends up today I Know it was uncool of dad to ask you last-minute"

"You are welcome of course I would do it and you didn't have to ask" Maddie smiled at Dixie as they walked down the aisle grabbing what they needed. Once they paid and left the store, they headed home.


	5. mother daughter bonding time

They arrived home Dixie grabbed Maddie's dance bag and some shopping and Maddie willingly helped Dixie carry the shopping as they entered Dixie's apartment.

They put the shopping away together which they both enjoyed spending some time together. Maddie grabbed her dance bag and put it over her shoulder.

"Where am I staying?" Dixie rushed over and led the way.

"Just through here" Dixie opened the door to a nicely decorated spare room where Maddie placed her bag on the bed. Dixie turned to leave her but heard Maddie say something to her.

"I was mad at you earlier in the car"

"Why?" Dixie knew Maddie was angry but wanted to hear why.

"I was mad at you for all those times you never showed up before and I was thinking you would never show up like the old times but , today you did" Dixie could feel the tears wanting to slip down her face but she put on a brave face.

"I'm so sorry Maddie; my Job came before you years ago and I didn't realise what I had back then until it was too late. I was a complete idiot back then and now because of my mistakes I lost you but, now that has changed and I have changed and I will do anything to get you back Maddie". Dixie knew that sounded a bit much but she wanted to let Maddie know how she felt.

" Maddie...I'm sorry If I ever made you feel like you were forgotten because I know what it is like to be forgotten and I don't ever want you to feel like that again" Maddie was shocked she wasn't expected an apology from Dixie but now she got one and that changed the way she thought about her.

Maddie knew it would take time for her to forgive Dixie but she knew one day she would and it would be the best thing in the world to have a proper mother who she would maybe be living with rather than living with her father not that there was anything wrong with living with her father.

"Want to watch a movie?" Dixie asked hesitantly

"Yeah, I would love to"

"I was thinking it could be more of a mother and daughter bonding time? With cookies, pop corn and maybe girl talk" Dixie asked shyly

"Yeah, I suppose it could be" Dixie knew she was pushing it but she was glad Maddie was not pushing her away.

"I'm just going to get changed and then we can put the movie on how does that sound?" Maddie nodded as she started to unpack her bag. Dixie left to change in to something more comfortable and then got the pop corn ready and placed it on the coffee table with drinks, cookies, crisps and chocolate as she waited for Maddie.

Maddie changed into something more comfortable but took a quick look in the mirror where she looked at herself closely and took a deep breath and left her room shutting the door behind her and walked into the lounge to see Dixie had set up food supplies and drinks for their "mother and daughter time" Maddie smiled seeing that Dixie had taken it seriously.

"There you are come and sit down" Dixie said entering the room with a fleece blanket for her and Maddie to wrap themselves in. Maddie sat down on the soft expensive sofa looking rather nervous and uncomfortable about spending time with Dixie. Dixie sat down next to Maddie but she left a gap between them so that Maddie would not feel like Dixie was smothering her like she said.

"So what film do you want to watch?" Dixie asked

"I don't mind, maybe something girly"

"How about ...Bridesmaids?"

"Yeah that sounds good," Maddie, said smiling at Dixie.

Maddie watched Dixie as she set up the DVD player and placing the DVD in before pressing play and then sitting back down to snuggle under the blanket.

Throughout the movie, they laughed together at the same scenes in the movies and they shared smiles throughout the movie. They shared the pop corn and the snacks as they watched the movie. Dixie glanced at Maddie and smiled watching her laugh and being close to Maddie was all she needed. Once the movie ended, they sat quietly until Maddie spoke breaking the silence.

"You, know all those years when you would go out to work and leave me with dad. I did not like it because all I wanted was to be near you or even get one look from you but I never did. I would follow you but you never noticed or you would brush me away. You would just go out and never look back and it was dad who had to put my small fragile broken heart back together whilst you chose to work rather than be with me" Maddie knew it would upset Dixie but she needed to tell her how she felt all those years ago.

"I'm so sorry Maddie, you knew I loved you didn't you? And I still do and always will love you"

"I don't know; see I don't think you ever did"

"That's not true"

"I loved you mum, I really did, I would do anything to get your attention or to be with my mum but now I look back you did the best to get away from me like I was the plague, I was only a child mum and no child deserves the coldness I got from you"

"I was young Maddie; I wanted to live my life"

"Oh so what you are saying is that I got in the way of your life when really I should not have been part of that life, I remember when you would get home from work and then you and dad would argue" Maddie shut her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke again.

"I would bury myself deep under my bed wrapped in my covers hearing you argue as I cried" Maddie shook her head and she would not let look at Dixie once.

"Look at me Maddie" Maddie looked up at Maddie "you are the best thing in my life and I don't regret having you ever Maddie don't ever think I did, I am sorry you had to hear me and dad arguing. It was not long after that, your father divorced me and it was not your fault, we just drifted apart and your dad obviously did not love me as much as I did him... Well still do"

Maddie was silent as she took in what Dixie just said and Dixie watched the look on Maddie's face as she took in what she said.

"Work always came first for you and because of that you missed play dates, school plays and dance recitals. I would always look before the show at dad when he could make it or those two empty seats where you both should have been only to have my dreams crushed. Year after year that would break my heart because I would always hope I would one day come first with you and dad"

"I know work did always come first but I was under the bizarre impression that your father had my back and would support me in my work and I never realised how important it was to you to have me there"

"I am so lucky you had dad look after me all these years, he did the job that you should have been doing but let's face it you never were maternal type were you Dixie"

"Do you really hate me that much? Then what are you doing here?"Dixie was angry now and did not bother to hide it.

"Touched a nerve have I? It's the truth and the truth hurts doesn't it"

"What have I got to do prove that I love you and that I want you Maddie?, everything you say you just twist it round to be my fault " Dixie was now crying which made Maddie feel bad so she moved over to Dixie and wrapped her arms round her.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, I just wanted to make you realise how I felt all these years"

"It's true everything you said and I am sorry I made you feel unloved or not wanted when really I love you and I do want you Maddie"

"I do love you ... Mum" Dixie gasped hearing Maddie finally use the word that she had been waiting for with warmth and love.

"Hang on wait... you said you still love dad, is that true?" Maddie pulled away from Dixie and looked at her mother who shifted under Maddie's gaze.

"So it's true... oh my god, you know dad still loves you right. And it's totally obvious now I look at it" Maddie shook her head laughing to herself and Dixie frowned rather confused why Maddie was laughing.


	6. the crash, the kiss

That night Dixie held Maddie like she should have done all those years ago when she was just a small child wanting her mother.

"I better go to bed" Maddie said get up off the sofa and went to walk away.

"I'm sorry Maddie, I love you "Dixie turned to walk away but she stopped just in time to feel Maddie threw herself at her mother and hugged her.

"I'm sorry I ruined mother and daughter night. I did have fun well... night "Maddie let go and went to bed.

That night Dixie tossed and turned all night as Maddie's words came to her mind repeatedly and she was basically saying that Jeff still loved her and she still loved Jeff and that she was a bad mother and maybe Maddie was better off without some like her in her life. Dixie already knew she lost Maddie Years ago to her job.

In the morning Dixie was first up as she had not slept at all that night so she took a shower and made her bed and then began to make breakfast when Maddie finally a merged.

"Morning" Dixie said brightly putting on a false smile.

"Morning" Maddie said back brightly

"Well we better get you some breakfast before I drop you home" Maddie poured some corn flakes into her bowl, then added a ridiculous amount of milk, and began munching on her breakfast as Dixie cleaned the kitchen. Maddie was building up the courage to speak again after last night.

"Mu... Dixie, I really am sorry for I said last night. I don't hate you if that's what you are thinking"

"It's alright, you were only telling me how you felt and I am glad you did otherwise I would never know and don't worry about it alright" Dixie could see the worry in Maddie's eyes.

"I better get ready" Maddie got up from the table, placed her empty bowl in the sink, and then headed back to her room to get changed and get her things packed.

Once Maddie was ready, she adventured out of her room with her bags to see Dixie was ready to go.

"Is it alright if I left some things in the other just in case I stay again?"

"Of course it is sweetheart, are you ready to go?" Maddie nodded and they left Dixie's apartment and headed to her old house that she used to share with Jeff and where Maddie lived. The drive to the house was silent but it was more of a companion silence that they were comfortable with.

"Well here we are" Dixie said turning off the ignition to look at Maddie.

"Thank you for having me, I was thinking maybe you could pick me up next Saturday and well every Saturday and I could stay the night some times, if you're ok with it of course"

"Are you sure? Because I would love to and you are welcome to stay anytime" Maddie smiled nervously and said "goodbye" and then climbed out the car and went into the house.

**A week later**

Saturday Jeff asked her to pick Maddie up from dance but unfortunately, Dixie was called in to work. Dixie used her mobile phone to call Jeff in the break room, which was a big mistake.

"Jeff, I can't pick Maddie up today"

"What's so important than your own daughter?"

"I have to work today as they are short staffed"

"Can't you just Pick Maddie up and take her to work with you?"

"I can't Jeff, you know that" Dixie shouted

Norman and Ian turned to see Dixie who saw them listening in to her conversation with Jeff. Norman mouthed to Ian "Maddie" with a confused look on his face and Norman shrugged his shoulders when Dixie had her back to them.

"Fine you don't want to be part of her life Dixie, then fine, I will get her friend's mother to pick her up don't worry"

"Jeff" Dixie shouted only to hear he had hung up on her. Dixie slammed the phone down on the work surface to see Norman and Ian jump and looked at her.

"What?" She barked at them before she stormed off.

"What the hell was that about?" Ian asked puzzled.

Mean while dance had finished and Katie's mother was waiting outside for Katie when she saw her and Maddie together coming this way.

"Maddie, I have to pick you up today as your mother and father can't make it"

"More like they don't want to make it, let me guess work?" Katie's mother nodded and Maddie felt like her mother put her job first once again over her. Maddie got into the car in the back seat next to Katie who placed her hand on Maddie's shoulder and whispered "it's going to be alright Maddie" Maddie smiled but thought to herself "not it's not". Little did Maddie know that in a few minutes that some one's life in the car was going to change forever? Katie's mother pulled out of a side road not bothering to look properly until it was too late as they collided with another car, which sent Katie's car flying and toppled over as they hit the other car with such force.

Both girls screamed as they crashed but it soon turned silent once the car stopped travelling. The witnesses stopped and came rushing into help but no one was conscious. They called an ambulance, which arrived within a few minutes.

"I haven't seen RTC this big before" Norman said to Ian as they pulled up and jumped out of the ambulance grabbing their kits and spinal boards.

Norman rushed over to the car with three passengers in and Ian saw to the other car, which was boy racer who was conscious and able to walk with only minor bruising, and cuts but Maddie, Katie and her mother were not so lucky.

"Ian, I need help" Ian came running once he checked the young boy over and once he was sure she was ok, he rushed to Norman.

"Ok, Norman, I'm here. What do you need" I need you to mobilise the blonde girl's neck please Ian" Ian did as he was asked.

"I think we will need the firemen on this one, this one will need to be cut out" Ian said looking at Katie.

The firefighters came rushing over to look at the damage and as soon as they saw the car, they knew it needed to be cut so they went straight to work. Maddie began to come to and tried to move her neck but something or someone was holding it.

"Stay still sweetie, I'm Ian and I'm a paramedic. Don't panic, what's your name sweet?"

"Maddie, Is my friend alright?" Maddie asked

"She will be fine, but we need to move her before we move you alright"

"Just see to my friend, I'm alright" Maddie was trying to stay strong as someone needed to.

"You're being very brave" Maddie smiled at the friendly paramedic.

The firefighters cut Katie free and she was taken to hospital with Norman whilst Ian stayed with Maddie and Katie's mother.

"Are you in any pain anywhere Maddie?" Ian asked as he could put a line in her arm and start pushing fluids.

"My arm, I think it's broken and I'm finding it hard to breath" Ian nodded as he applied the collar round Maddie's neck and then giving her five of morphine and placing the oxygen mask over her face to help her breath.

Ian managed to get Maddie out and wheel her into the ambulance and took her to Holby.

"What hospital are we going to?" Maddie asked Ian as she pulled down her mask.

"Holby"

"Can't I go to st James instead?"

"No, sorry sweetie" Maddie put the mask back on.

They arrived at Holby where Ian wheeled her in informing the doctors of her injuries.

"Ok we have Maddie, RTC with possible right radius fracture and fractured ribs. Her GSC is 8 but she was unconscious at scene, her BP is 112/ 70 and her sats 95 and she's had 5 of morphine and 10 mils of saline"

"Ok thank you Ian," Zoe said walking over to the trolley only to gasp seeing Maddie on the trolley.

"Maddie..." they wheeled her into resus where they began to transfer her on to another bed and Jeff and Dixie wheeled their gurney to the ambulance.

"Hi Maddie. I'm Dr Nicholls, I'm just going to take a little look at your arm alright," Sam said smiling at the young girl who smiled back weakly.

"Is there anyone we can call for you Maddie?" Tess asked tenderly

"Could you call my Dad please" Tess gave Maddie's free hand a small squeeze and went to grab her notes.

Zoe asked Tess if she could speak to her for a second and Tess nodded and walked over to Zoe who had her hands on her hips.

"You know whose daughter that is don't you?" Tess shook her head looking at Maddie still no knowing whose daughter it was.

"She's Jeff and Dixie's 11-year-old daughter Maddie, so please could you go and page Dixie right away please Tess" Tess nodded and rushed off.

"I'm allergic to Penicillin," Maddie said to Sam who thanked her.

"Ok could we get another 5 mils of morphine" Zoe called out to fletch who nodded and went to get it.

"Where's my friend Katie?" Maddie asked

"She's fine Maddie don't worry"

"Ok fletch could I get a head CT and full bloods please" Fletched nodded.

A half an hour later Jeff entered the Ed and came rushing over to the reception seeing that it had not changed from the last time he left.

"Noël, my daughter Maddie Collier was brought in here earlier, could I see her please" Noël nodded and lead the way.

"Jeff? What are you doing here?" Dixie said as she walked through the double doors only to stop seeing Jeff hear.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Maddie was in a car accident"

"I'll take it from here thank you Noël" Jeff said politely as he looked at Dixie.

"Oh my god, Jeff why didn't you tell me?" Dixie was now panicking.

"I guess you wouldn't know not being her next of kin on the paperwork"

"Thanks Jeff cheer me up why don't you" Dixie began to sob so Jeff placed his arm round her as they walked through the double doors to resus.

"Oh God Maddie" Dixie rushed over seeing her daughter in the bed next to the lady she recognised as Katie's mother from dance.

"What's she doing here?" Maddie said coldly looking at Dixie who stopped at the food of the bed.

"Maddie, that's not very nice now say sorry, she's your mother"Maddie rolled her eyes.

"Sorry" Maddie said sounding not sorry at all.

"Why should I say sorry to her she chose this over me again?"

"Maddie I had to I need the money" Dixie still had tears down her cheeks.

"Just stay away from me, I don't need you in my life anymore, I thought I did" Maddie began to struggle to breath as she felt her chest tighten and the monitor began to beep to indicate there was something wrong.

"Mum, I'm scared" Maddie managed to say before it got worse.

"It's alright baby, mums here. Zoe quick it's Maddie" Dixie called out

"She's very tachy cardic, looks like she has a haemathorax, we need a chest drain"

"What the hell does that mean in English mum?" Grace said panicking even more.

"You have a punctured lung Maddie, but it's going to be alright Princess" Jeff began to assist Zoe but she was stopped by Tess

"she's your family and you know the rules guys" Jeff did was he was told but stayed to watch then as they inserted a chest drain and within a few minutes Maddie was now breathing better and sitting up.

"What just happened to me mum, dad?" Dixie walked over and Maddie held out her hand for Dixie to hold and Dixie placed a light kiss on the top of Maddie's forehead and with her other hand she moved loose strands of chocolate-brown hair out of her face.

A few minutes later Maddie had drifted off leaving Jeff and Dixie sitting in silence. Jeff got up and stretched before he spoke to Dixie.

"Fancy a tea Dix?" Dixie nodded and they both left the room and went over to the machine where they waited for their teas. Once they had their teas, Jeff took a sip of the warm liquid that ran down his dry throat. Dixie sat down with the tea in her hands staring into space.

"I'm sorry, I didn't pick Maddie up. Then this wouldn't have happened" Dixie said taking a small sip of tea.

"Don't be so silly Dix, it's not your fault" Jeff sat down next to Dixie and placed his hand on top of hers. Dixie saw that Jeff still wore his silver wedding ring on his left hand, which made Dixie smile.

"What are you smiling at?" Jeff asked

"I see you still wear your wedding ring after all these years and we are divorced" Dixie looked at Jeff who could see kindness in her eyes.

"I just couldn't take it off; I also use it as a barrier to stop women coming on to me. Since I divorced you Dixie... your all I can think about and I haven't been with anyone since" Jeff said shyly.

"Maddie did let it slip that you still ... Sort of loved me, which is silly because you chose to divorce me Jeff" Jeff was silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"I still love you Dix and I always will even if you don't feel the same" Dixie looked at her hands.

"I miss you Jeff" Jeff moved closer to Dixie taking her face in his hands so she was inches away from him and looking in his eyes. Jeff placed a soft and tender kiss on Dixie's lips and Dixie closed her eyes feeling the butterflies in her stomach like she used to.


End file.
